http://assets.tumblr.com/assets/scripts/pre_tumblelog.js?_v=003c8f0a57b1e1e38ebda4c6cc1d1fa3 SOLEMN ASYLUM
Posted 2 weeks ago

i hate when i text my bae and she’s all like

"who is this"

and

"how did you get this number"

Posted 1 month ago

why is the mascot for little caesar’s pizza always smiling 

does he not know yet

Posted 1 month ago

stefan: oh maleficent, if there was someone out there who loved you

maleficent: surprise, b****, i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

Posted 1 month ago

wait does that make him a child predator

Posted 2 months ago

i just ate a fortune cookie whole

think about it

now i’ll never know what it said

unless…

Posted 2 months ago

thank you for holding

we appreciate your call

now please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo

Posted 2 months ago
  1. internet explorer: 5/20 blaze it
Posted 2 months ago

so apparently the population of the earth is growing

i just want to know when someone was going to take the time to inform me

Posted 2 months ago
he’s a legendary basketball player
how dare you

he’s a legendary basketball player

how dare you

Posted 2 months ago

…except when it comes to punctuation.